“Being heroic is not repeating the social justice slogans that have already gone viral.”
-Lil Tankie
I’ve really been reflecting on this quote from last week’s episode.
And this week brings us episode 2 of 6 featuring Lil Tankie!
Enjoy!
You can listen to Lil Tankie’s music on all streaming platforms or by clicking here.
P.S.
Want to connect with your creativity and the feeling you get when you boldly share your story?
Then consider joining our brave, messy, awkward, and loving community here.
Original Air Date: August 10, 2020
Imagine coming home from work only to find that your partner of 7 years has completely moved out of the home you shared together.
No warning. No note. No discernible reason.
Just the empty space where that person’s furniture, clothes, dishes, and presence once were.
Ok. Now let’s jump back one year.
Let’s say you were to study your ass off for years. You go through the rigorous and grueling process of medical rotations. You walk across the stage to receive your pharmacy doctorate – only to realize less than 1 year later that this profession isn’t for you.
We all have an origin story.
These are just two of the life events that this week’s guest, 𝐃𝐫. 𝐁𝐫𝐲𝐚𝐧 𝐌𝐜𝐄𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲 shared with us in this powerful episode.
This interview is personal.
It is vulnerable.
It is transparent.
It is real.
𝐃𝐫. 𝐁𝐫𝐲𝐚𝐧 lives the truth that he shares as a holistic life coach, business mentor, and speaker. The core premise of his work is to empower and teach each person he encounters to take control of their mind, body, and life by investing in themselves.
I promise you: you will not regret jumping into this episode. It’ll be a cool pool on a hot summer’s day.
We got real as we talked about mental health, social justice, neuro-linguistic programming, self-awareness, how to transition from loss, and how to move forward when your world falls out from underneath you.
Bryan and I also went deep on men and mental health. We talked about how toxic masculinity and patriarchy keep men in an unhealthy box, and how we can break free from that box.
Most importantly, Bryan made sure that he didn’t just speak in the theoretical or philosophical. He shared tools, steps, exercises, and processes you can use to address the issues that were raised in this interview.
I’m telling you, we went in on this episode.
Here’s my suggestion: hit play and brace yourself.
You can learn more about 𝐃𝐫. 𝐁𝐫𝐲𝐚𝐧 𝐌𝐜𝐄𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲 through his website; or you can follow him on Instagram
Sometimes you just don’t fit in. What should you do then?
Explore this intriguing topic with us as we chat with our very special guest, Dr. Kikanza Nuri-Robins, author of several books including Fish Out of Water.As someone who never fit into a particular group, she became a force for awareness and change.
For years, she’s been an amazing advocate for justice, equity, and inclusion, for hundreds of organizations across the country and continues to teach companies how to create a healthy corporate culture for all employees.
When asked to describe herself in 6 words, she replied: ”I was not what they expected.”
Come by to hear our discussion where we go deeper on what it’s like to feel like someone who doesn’t belong and how we can play our part to help society become more inclusive.
🎧 Ready to listen?
Head over to: www.tomearl.me/knr.
Check out Dr. Kikanza Nuri-Robins’ books and how you can work with her here.
There is a widely shared photo from the era of the Nazi 3rd Reich. In it you see everyone ‘heiling’ and saluting to the Führer except for one lone figure.
Often there is a red circle drawn around this person. Pointing out the only person standing against the tide of genocide and authoritarianism.
In Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents, Isabel Wilkerson opens her book by asking:
“We might feel certain that, were we Aryan citizens under the Third Reich, we surely would have seen through it, would have risen above it like him, been that person resisting authoritarianism and brutality in the face of mass hysteria...But unless people are willing to transcend their fears, endure discomfort and derision, suffer the scorn of loved ones and neighbors and co-workers and friends, fall into disfavor of perhaps everyone they know, face exclusion and even banishment, it would be numerically impossible, humanly impossible, for everyone to be that man. What would it take to be him in any era? What would it take to be him now?”
As Isabel Wilkerson points out, while we all may assert we would be that person, the reality is that “it would be numerically impossible, humanly impossible, for everyone to be that man.”
Isabel Wilkerson’s Book ‘Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents’ provides an opportunity to strive to “be that man.”
If there is one book you plan to read this year, it is my wish that this be amongst your top considerations.
On this week’s episode, I am joined by past guest’s Stacey Cosden and Lloyd Wilkey to discuss and reflect upon Isabel Wilkerson’s Caste.
Together we share with you some of the passages, insights, ahas, and emotions that deeply impacted us.
There is no way we can do the book justice in just 1 hour.
Which is why, once again, I highly encourage you to please buy and read Isabel Wilkerson’s Book “Caste.”
You can do so here.
More About Our Guests:
Stacey Cosden is a Marketing Coach with Tom at T.H.E. Celebration. While she is currently in marketing, she’s spent over 20 years working with the public school system. Through her various roles in the system, Stacey has been an advocate for her community, students and their families, and an activist for reform. Stacey’s true passion is building healthy community that supports marginalized voices.
You can follow Stacey on Instagram here.
Lloyd Wilkey is the founder of the Mindful Policing Project, He is a recognized expert on community/police relations. He facilitates law enforcement training, community dialogues, and engages in activism to advance his concept of Mindful Policing. He advocates for policies and procedures which will result in transparency, accountability, and restorative justice.
You can follow Lloyd here.
What conversation should we be having on domestic violence?
That is the question that begins this week’s episode.
This week’s episode brings you a panel discussion on domestic violence, stories of Healing & Survival.
My panelists are Sumiyah Mshaka, Dania Alkhouli, and Neda.
Each guest brings their unique insights, story, and experience to this important conversation.
Together, we discussed the misconceptions, myths and misinformation that surround domestic violence.
We also explored ways to support and be there for someone who is currently experiencing domestic violence or is a survivor.
I am grateful to Sumiyah, Dania, and Neda for sharing their stories and journeys with us on this week’s episode.
A theme that arose during the panel discussion was that, even though it may be difficult, is important we have this conversation.
About My Guests:
Sumiyah Mshaka is a licensed clinical social worker (LCSW) and group fitness instructor who comes from a family with a legacy of social justice work. After graduating from the UCLA MSW program in 2004, Sumiyah began her extensive career in social work specializing in mental health treatment and advocacy for youth in the foster care and juvenile justice systems. Prior to the COVID-19 pandemic, Sumiyah taught kickboxing and strength training classes at 24 Hour Fitness for 7 years. She recently started her own online fitness business featuring live virtual fitness classes, 722 Sweat Mvmt. You can follow Sumiyah on IG - https://www.instagram.com/turbosumiyah
Neda is a nurse practitioner in Los Angeles. She does primarily reproductive and prenatal care, and is covid testing all day every day. When she isn’t in the clinic, she’s on the pole doing strong woman things. You can follow Neda on IG - https://www.instagram.com/hijabiluscious/
Dania Ayah Alkhouli is a Syrian writer, blogger, poet, editor, and author. Dania’s work centers on feminism, mental health, sexuality, identity, culture, religion, her war-torn homeland, Syria, and on grief, loss, and death. She has been featured on Buzzfeed and Jubilee Media, and has performed across national venues such as Da Poetry Lounge in Los Angeles, House Slam in Boston, and Busboys & Poets in D.C. You can follow her on IG at @lady_narrator and @acountrycalledsyria.
If you are looking for resources or support on Domestic Violence you can visit https://www.thehotline.org/.
The disclaimer on the website shares:
“Internet usage can be monitored and is impossible to erase completely. If you’re concerned your internet usage might be monitored, call us at 800.799.SAFE (7233). Learn more about digital security and remember to clear your browser history after visiting https://www.thehotline.org/plan-for-safety/internet-safety/.”
“You’re Muslim? Really?” This is a question I’ve been asked many times by both Muslims and non-Muslims.
Usually, shock and raised eyebrows accompany the question.
Sometimes, it’s also accompanied by a clenched fist of anger and a feeling of betrayal, with an undertone of, “I thought you were one of us” permeating the question.
It’s fair to say that in the American mindset, there is a dominant image that we picture when we are prompted to envision a Muslim.
For the most part, that picture isn’t of a white guy named Tom hailing from a small rural town in Wisconsin.
In fact, if we were to continue down Stereotype Road, the white guy named Tom socialized in a small rural American town would be the one voting for politicians who want to ban Islam.
Accordingly, given my background, there has been some curiosity as to how I embraced Islam.
Over the years, I have been asked to be a part of a few “viral” videos that explore the Muslim American identity.
Each time these videos were released, I was gifted an opportunity to receive massive feedback on the deeper implications of “Meet a Muslim” type videos.
One takeaway, for me, has been this:
While my story has elements of it that are rich and unique, I also have many social advantages that my fellow Muslims may not. Therefore, there is a real danger that my story is continually elevated over that of other Muslims.
We all have something beautiful and powerful to contribute in the telling of our own stories.
Each time we listen to one another’s stories, it allows us an opportunity to see the world through someone else’s eyes.
I believe this is one of the first seeds of empathy.
This isn’t to discount or minimize my own story: but I do believe that when my story becomes a focal point, we lose sight of the richness of Muslim American experience.
Whenever I am asked to share my experience as a Muslim American – these thoughts occupy my mind as I consider my participation.
Which is why, when my good friend, Chris, asked me if he could interview me about being Muslim, I paused to consider first.
After thinking, I said, “yes, and”:
Let’s do a roundtable where you ask other Muslims about their experiences too.
I’ll record the conversation and share it with my podcast listeners.
He gave an enthusiastic green light to both ideas.
This was decided at 10AM. The interview was scheduled for 2PM that very same day.
Over the next 4 hours, I sent out texts and DMs to my friends asking if they were free at 2PM and if they’d like to be a part of the roundtable.
I am grateful to the guests who agreed to chat with Chris and me on such short notice, and with minimal detail and direction.
Please accept my sincere apologies in advance if you feel your voice is absent from this conversation. Islam has an incredibly diverse following, and I could never do that diversity justice in a one-hour episode.
Now, this may go on the record books as the longest podcast writeup in the history of Tom Earl podcast writeups, so I’ll end it here, but:
My friends – do yourself this favor.
Hit play on this one.
Imagine coming home from work only to find that your partner of 7 years has completely moved out of the home you shared together.
No warning. No note. No discernible reason.
Just the empty space where that person’s furniture, clothes, dishes, and presence once were.
Ok. Now let’s jump back one year.
Let’s say you were to study your ass off for years. You go through the rigorous and grueling process of medical rotations. You walk across the stage to receive your pharmacy doctorate – only to realize less than 1 year later that this profession isn’t for you.
We all have an origin story.
These are just two of the life events that this week’s guest, 𝐃𝐫. 𝐁𝐫𝐲𝐚𝐧 𝐌𝐜𝐄𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲, shared with us in this powerful episode.
This interview is personal.
It is vulnerable.
It is transparent.
It is real.
𝐃𝐫. 𝐁𝐫𝐲𝐚𝐧 lives the truth that he shares as a holistic life coach, business mentor, and speaker. The core premise of his work is to empower and teach each person he encounters to take control of their mind, body, and life by investing in themselves.
I promise you: you will not regret jumping into this episode. It’ll be a cool pool on a hot summer’s day.
We got real as we talked about mental health, social justice, neuro-linguistic programming, self-awareness, how to transition from loss, and how to move forward when your world falls out from underneath you.
Bryan and I also went deep on men and mental health. We talked about how toxic masculinity and patriarchy keep men in an unhealthy box, and how we can break free from that box.
Most importantly, Bryan made sure that he didn’t just speak in the theoretical or philosophical. He shared tools, steps, exercises, and processes you can use to address the issues that were raised in this interview.
I’m telling you, we went in on this episode.
Here’s my suggestion: hit play and brace yourself.
You can learn more about 𝐃𝐫. 𝐁𝐫𝐲𝐚𝐧 𝐌𝐜𝐄𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲 through his website www.bryanmcelderry.com/; or you can follow him on IG www.instagram.com/drmcelderry/.
In today's episode, I talk to Laura Ferretti, a seasoned fundraising professional and family advisor, with particular expertise in social change organizations. We talked about the business side of nonprofits and the tactical ways that non-profit owners can secure resources for their organizations. Laura provides a rare glimpse into the economics of fundraising, philanthropy and explains the role of the board and staff in fundraising. You won't want to miss this fascinating and deep dive into how to keep funds flowing through your non-profit organization. Bring your notepad because there are some key takeaways about different avenues of fundraising and possibly some information you didn't know.
Laura has worked with 60+ organizations locally, nationally and internationally; from start-ups to $30M annual operating budgets; and with missions ranging from poetry-based peacemaking to creating a strong, inclusive, shared society in Israel, healing the Santa Monica Bay and reforming criminal justice laws in California.
Laura's credentials include graduating from Smith College and she earned an MBA from UCLA; she’s also a Brittingham Fellow with USC’s Social Enterprise Lab and volunteer Co-Founder and Board Co-Chair of Los Angeles Advisors in Philanthropy with a commitment to seeing more money come into philanthropy through the intergenerational wealth transfer in support of social change leaders in LA.
You can connect with Laura on Linked In if you'd like to discuss fundraising with her.
Today, I talk to educator Amreen Karmali about the power of education and founding The Real Talk Project. Amreen and I mostly discuss gender justice, allyship, intersectionality, and approaching difficulty with creativity and love. We also ponder ideas of shame and guilt and how they play into both approaching patriarchy and patriarchy itself.
Amreen Karmali has been an educator and organizer for over 15 years. She spent 10 years as a middle school science teacher and holds a Masters in Science Education from CSULA. She has also facilitated a Young Empowered Women's class and a Student Organizing class, which melded her passions for all things justice-oriented with her love for teaching.
This past year, Amreen left the traditional classroom to start The Real Talk Project, where she combines her understanding of contemporary schooling with critical lens to provide educators and community members with spaces where they can tackle ways in which patriarchy, white supremacy, and other forms of injustice manifest themselves in schools and relationships while working towards creating new ways of teaching and being together. She is also a founding member of The People’s Education Movement - Los Angeles, and is passionate about spreading health, healing, and joy to both her students and the community around her.
Learn more about the Real Talk Project by visiting its webpage.
My guest this week is double-duty social worker and fitness guru Sumiyah S. Mshaka. Sumiyah and I talk about a bunch of complex social phenomenon including trauma, experiential change, and social work.
Sumiyah is a LCSW and group fitness instructor who comes from a family with a legacy of social justice. After graduating from the UCLA MSW program in June 2004, Sumiyah began her extensive career in social justice advocacy, youth development and mental health treatment of adolescents in foster care and juvenile justice. This has included serving most recently in a mezzo social work position in the new DMH Division, Continuum of Care Reform, Interagency Placement Committee (IPC) program.
Sumiyah is active in her community, serving on the Governance Board of CAIR-LA and volunteering with L.A. AIDSWalk, Islah L.A. and Islamic Relief’s Disaster Response Team. For the past five and a half years, Sumiyah has taught Group Fitness classes at 24 Hour Fitness.
You can learn more about Sumiyah’s work by connecting directly with her via Facebook!
